A friend says a gift is in the post when it isn’t. A neighbour swears she loves your new fence when she really can’t stand the sight of it. A sales assistant claims his shop is offering big savings on everything in stock, when only a few select items, as it turns out, are marked down.
Little white lies (of all sorts) are tossed our way daily, and getting to the truth of the matter can be frustrating, time-consuming and even upsetting.
“Lies occur between friends, between teacher and student, doctor and patient, husband and wife, witness and jury, lawyer and client, and salesperson and customer,” says Paul Ekman, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California, San Francisco. Ekman has been studying deceptive behaviour for more than four decades and is the author of several books on the subject. “Lying is such a central characteristic of life, that understanding it better is relevant to almost all human affairs,” he says.
How can we spot the lies we’re told, both the little white ones that don’t matter a whole lot and the really big untruths that do? Try these compelling tips from the experts.
1. Hear the voices. Ever notice the pitch of someone’s voice change from its norm? Hear a voice crack when it isn’t the cracking type? Pay attention to voice changes like these; they may well indicate deceit.
When Paul Ekman teamed with Maureen O’Sullivan, professor of psychology at the University of San Francisco, to test 509 people for their ability to spot liars, the results were telling. The group included US Secret Service, CIA and FBI personnel, as well as psychiatrists and university students. They were shown a videotape of ten individuals who were either lying or telling the truth.
On the tape, one woman described the lovely flowers she was supposedly looking at. Though she was smiling as she spoke, a few keen observers detected an odd hesitation in her voice. Her words lacked joy, and her hands seemed tense, not relaxed.
One of the Secret Service agents labelled her a liar, and he was right. She wasn’t looking at flowers at all, but rather at a graphic film the researchers were showing. (The Secret Service employees, by the way, identified the liars 86% of the time, better than others in the group.)
Though other important behaviours need to be considered as well, vocal changes that deviate from the norm can indicate deception. “There may also be a change in speech rate, either too fast or too slow, and a change in breathing pattern,” says O’Sullivan.
2. Watch those words. How about written material? Can we spot misleading behaviour in letters, documents, e-mails and even résumés? At the University of Texas at Austin, psychology professor James Pennebaker and colleagues have developed computer software known as Linguistic Inquiry and Word Count (LIWC), which analyses written and verbal content for lies
Deception can reveal itself in two significant ways, says Pennebaker. First, liars tend to use fewer first-person pronouns – words like I, me, mine – than truth tellers. It’s as if they’re putting psychological distance between themselves and their stories; they don’t “own” their message. “The paperwork was sent yesterday,” is an example, as opposed to the direct and personal “I sent it yesterday.” Second, liars use fewer exclusionary words – but, nor, except, whereas. They have trouble with complex thinking, says Pennebaker, and it shows.
3. Look past shifty eyes. While most people tend to interpret darting, unfocused eyes as a classic sign of lying, what’s vital to consider is the context of the behaviour. (Experienced poker players, of course, are careful not to make too much of eye “tells”.) “If people look away while trying to think of something difficult, that is not important,” says O’Sullivan. “But if they look away while answering something that should be easy to answer, you should wonder why.” And what is the conversation about, anyway? The subject matter is critical. “If people are lying about something they’re ashamed of, they’ll have difficulty maintaining eye gaze,” notes O’Sullivan. “For white lies, though, or lies that aren’t shameful, people may actually increase their eye gaze.” |
